You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
