we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
