oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Terrible idea I love it
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
