me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
