so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
