Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think my moral compass just broke
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
