dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
