I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
