can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
