yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
