wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
