I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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