that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
