I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
im holly from the hills drunk
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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