you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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