I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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