I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
