My hand turned me down
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
