just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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