there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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