do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
