It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
