You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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