You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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