You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
