My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
