We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
