Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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