she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
