he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
