around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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