I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
