Apparently you make a good broom.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
