Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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