Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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