it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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