Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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