i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's never too late to be topless.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
