Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
