i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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