drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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