Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
