at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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