please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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