If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
