You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize