when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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