like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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