i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
