she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
