I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
