glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
ugly people sure do ruin things
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
