I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
