you have to choose: penises or morals?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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